Gideon, My Boy (A Father's Tale...)

This is Jr. Daisha wanted me to post this since it's "my story" - meaning I was the one directly involved with events that transpired. Anyway; here is the short but sweet tale.

Gideon and I were wrestling on the floor when he stands up and points to his diaper. Now he has done this before and it usually means he has just gone and wants his diaper changed. So I ask "Did you go poop?". He replies with his unique affirmative response, "Ah ya". "OK, let's go change your diaper; come on bud." And he proceeds to walk in front of me towards his bedroom.

But he stops. He walks up to the bathroom door that is just before his bedroom door and knocks on it (it was shut because that's what Gideon does, he shuts doors). Anyway, I said "You wanna go in the bathroom?" "Ah ya" he replies.

So I open the door and Gideon walks up to the toilet, points down towards the water in the toilet, then points to his toilet seat that hangs adjacent to the toilet. Just like that, point, then point.

"OK" I think to myself, "this kid is hilarious." So, I take his seat and place it on the toilet seat, take his diaper off pick him up and put him on the toilet. Now when I took off his diaper, it was empty and dry. So, he lied to me when he said he went poop, but he is also only 21-months old so I'll let him slide (but just this once). :)

He sits, and I sit in front of him on a stool and just talk to him a little bit. You know, talking smack about going pee out in the woods and hitting the farthest tree - guy talk.

I then fold up the diaper and he immediately reaches for it. So I let him take it and he proceeds to try and stuff it in between himself and the toilet seat; as to drop it into the toilet. I laugh a little and say "Gideon, that doesn't go in there, it goes in there" and point to the trash can. So I took it and threw it away.

Then I watch as he proceeds to reach behind him and grab a book that is on top of the water tank back part of the toilet. Again, hilarious kid. He opens it and I say "Oh, its time to read now eh bud?" "Ah ya" he replies.

So I grabbed the camera: (story continues after picture...)
So about 1 minute goes buy and I ask him, "You all done?" "Ah ya" he answers.

So I pick him up and notice some trickle in the toilet. I tell him "Good job, bud!" and he's like "ya, whatever". I yell to Daisha that he went a little and she echoes the praise from afar.

I take him to his room, diaper still off, and put him on the bed so I can start to put another diaper on. Well, as I look down I see a little somethin' somethin' peeking out from its dark place of rest.

So I immediately pick him back up and as I'm holding him so that gravity works in my favor to keep the turd inside of him I'm telling him to "Hold on, bud, keep it in, keep it in!". This, as I'm hustling back to the bathroom.

At this point, Daisha joins the party and stands at the door of the bathroom holding Naomi. Nothing like an audience eh Gideon? (I think he is thinking "hey, how about a little space huh guys?") (again, story continues...)
So now we can tell he is in a little bit of pain. I again sit in front of him on a stool and cheer him on. He begins to cry a little bit and Daisha says "Well, thats what we get for letting him have a two bananas in the same day." She's so smart.

I assist him by simply placing my hands around his belly and gently push in on his tummy. His tummy was hard as a rock. He was pushing like a champ. Then Daisha and I started making funny noises - you know like those straining grunts when you try and lift something up, and we were saying the word "puuuuush" while making that kind of noise. Gideon loves to mimic the funny noises we make at times so he joins in the chorus.

So, now he's making funny straining grunting noises, laughing, crying and pooping all at the same time. Talk about multitasking!

Then, I hear a "plop". Just like that - relief comes to his eyes and pure joy escapes the mouths of his parents. I pick him up, turn him over and notice no more cargo needing to escape. So I put him down on his feet and show him the prize he has won. We all marvel at this thing - clapping and giving high fives.

So now Gideon does what he loves to do best - he flushes the toilet. And as he flushes, he watches the prize swirl and swirl around, while at first clapping, but then changing to a nice wave while saying "bye"... "bye"... to that little turd.

It disappears down to begin it's trek to the ocean - because as Gil says in Finding Nemo - "all drains lead to the ocean." And who are we to argue with Gil? I wouldn't. That dude has a broken fin that "didn't stop him" from accomplishing many things in his day. Word.

So I took him to his room and put on the diaper I had previously prepared before the discovery of the turtle. He then took to his feet and ran off to play cars or something.

Meanwhile, I tell Daisha the story up until the point that she walked in. The getting my attention, the knocking on the bathroom door, the pointing at all the objects to use, the book - she knew the rest from there.

So, that's my story; that's my boy; and I'm his dad.

-Jr