Two Books that Have Changed Me This Summer

My good friend, Emily, suggested several parenting books to me. I have read 2 of them so far. And they have utterly changed how I think about raising my children.

My children are well-behaved. We have been consistent and started early. Before we go into a situation, we talk about what is appropriate behavior and what is out of bounds. Our children are expected to speak when spoken to and to wait their turn in conversation. In fact, many people have asked me for parenting advice.

However, despite having well-behaved children, my parenting was still lacking. And these books pointed out what I was missing: their hearts.

I was addressing their behavior believing that I was doing my job in "disciple-ing" them. And in a way, I was. They were discipled into being appropriately behaved children. But I was missing the opportunities to guide their hearts and disciple them to Christ.

The first book, Shepherding a Child's Heart lays the foundation for Heart-Centered discipline. It pointed out that I discipline in anger as if I am the one who has been offended instead of God. I have spanked in anger. I have made my children feel that they have to behave perfectly to win my love. I have sinned against them and been unrighteous in my parenting.

This book redirected my attitude about who is really being offended by my children's disobedience. I now realize that God's command for "children to obey their parents" is the offense. My children are not at odds with ME when they disobey. They are at odds with God because of their sin. This makes my role of discipline a "rescue mission" to show them the error of their ways and to point them back towards Jesus and being back in the safety of a right relationship with God the Father.

Hello, new attitude! This thought alone wipes away my anger at being disobeyed and allows me to address my kids with love and concern.

"The Rod" is used as a corrective tool in hear-centered discipline. It is mandated by God. And while JR and I have never had a problem with spanking, this book lines out a proper way to spank that brings the parent and child closer together instead of tearing a rift in the relationship.

The second book I read was the perfect follow-up. Where as the first book was more theory, this book, Don't Make Me Count to Three! was a practical, how-to guide complete with a flow chart of behavior, bible verse, and consequence.

It focuses on using scripture (esp. the Proverbs) to train your children in righteousness. (Man, did it make me realize how much I rely on my own wisdom instead of God's word when I rebuke my children!)

Also, Ginger has a motto for discipline that we are adopting in our family. Discipline is:
RIGHT AWAY, ALL THE WAY, AND WITH A SMILE!

I cannot recommend these 2 books enough. (I also have "Instructing a Child's Heart" in the dock to read after I finish the book I'm currently reading.)

Please, read these books. It will not only change how you parent, but it will change how you deal with other people you encounter everyday.

First VBS

First... a note:
I have not been blogging much this summer. And for the first time, I don't feel guilty about it.

There have been times where I have given this blog and my posting on it too much importance. Instead of enjoying moments with my children, I have been blogging in my head. I want all of you readers to know how creative I am, how cool I am, and I have come to the realization that I was parenting for you. And for my own horn-tootin'.

I'm not saying all this to say that I'm ending my blog. But I am keeping tabs on my heart and my motivations when I do blog. Hence, the infrequent blogging this summer.

End of note.

I was kinda bummed this summer b/c I thought the kids were going to miss out on VBS. We were in Tallahassee when Grace Crossing had VBS. Gideon was able to go to one night of College Church's VBS when we were briefly in Searcy, but Naomi was too young. But then, our neighbor, Justin, invited the kids to Park Ave.'s VBS.
We all know the trauma I have had in the past when leaving Naomi places, but people, she's growing up!

Sunday-Wed. I dropped the kid's off for VBS and the LOVED it!

Naomi LOVED her class. And, of course, Gideon loved his.

We were even babysitting 3 siblings for Monday and Tuesday, so we took them to VBS as well.

While the kids were at VBS, JR and I read at a coffee shop, except for one night, when we actually had a date and discussed our plans for next summer. (More exciting news on that front in due time.)

The last night of VBS was family night. We got to watch the slide-show of what the kids had been doing and join the rest of the people there for food and games. There was also a station where the kids could get their picture taken with "Prowler". Gideon has 4 pictures on Park Ave. web-site (I pulled 2), but Naomi didn't want her picture taken.

I am so thankful that they had this opportunity and loved it. They talked about VBS all day long.

Shots from Today

We are starting to get to know even more of our neighbors. In fact, the Kings have a cute baby girl who has her own studio photography backdrop! :) So, Laura (the mom) invited us over this morning to "play photography".

Here are some of my favorite shots. I didn't run them through Photoshop, just iPhoto.

Photos from the Shoot in Florida

I saw Naomi react to the hot, sticky weather with all the enthusiasm with which I embrace it. She was cranky and did not smile. (I couldn't blame her.)

Most of these photos are still in the Proof stage. However, when you see duplicates, you can see some of my edit.

This flickr set is for family to identify the photos they would like to display in their home and let me know. Then I'll order a nice image of it. (NOTE: FAMILY THAT PRINTS PHOTOS FROM THE SCREEN--you know who you are--THE IMAGES WILL NOT LOOK RIGHT IF YOU TRY TO MAKE THEM BIGGER THAN THEY APPEAR ON THE SCREEN. E-mail me and I can either send you the file so you can print it bigger, or I'll order you a nice print.) ;)

Cheryl's Right

In the comments from the last post, Cheryl mentioned that there has been adequate time to get more photos of Kaden out there. And she's right. I have been taking pictures each day. (4 photo sessions so far)

Here's the photo I JUST finished editing. (Can you believe how great Claudia looks 6 days after a c-section?) I chopped her hair off. :)